Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Someone came in the potted fern
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
