whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
