I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize