he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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