I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
