...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
