I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
