I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
