"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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