Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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