You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
