Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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