Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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