I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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