she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
