I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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