Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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