you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize