we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
