I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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