doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
