god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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