We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
