i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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