she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died