the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.