maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
BRING THE BAGELS
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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