Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
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I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
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Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."