Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
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It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious