How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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