I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
