I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
