the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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