Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
