You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
