i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
