i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
