i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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