If that was your dad, he is hot
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
