I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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