I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
