so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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