Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
