Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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