I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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