its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
