dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
