Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
