its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
