just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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