is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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