so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
