I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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