it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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