I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
