He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
