Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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