my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize