im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
